Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
