just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
