just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
