your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am spending my child support on dildos
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize