Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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