I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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