make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
