yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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