You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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it was like having sex with a tree stump
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
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Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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