Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently you make a good broom.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
