The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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