do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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