so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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