dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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