You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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