Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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