first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
