"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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