Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
