Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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