question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
