I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize