just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
