Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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