I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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