I wish I only lived at night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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