Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
is it fun? or sober?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
