he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
