i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
