in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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