i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
