I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
