I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
