It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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