Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
