You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
