So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
