the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
