wrigley field is MILF paradise
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
