So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize