Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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