When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
