take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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