no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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