He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
