Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize