Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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