i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize