I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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