And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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