Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
