i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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