You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There r osticjed everywhere
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
