I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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