Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
did you just send me my own nude
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
