you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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